Alone in a Crowd

I was at a leadership conference in a large ballroom. The speaker instructed us all to our feet and asked us to move to a long piece of blue masking tape the length of the ballroom. We formed two large lines one either side of the piece of tape. The "game" went like this after the speaker read out a sentence you would cross the line if it applied to you. The only other rule was this was to be done in complete silence. "Cross the line, if you know your name." Every single person crossed the line and murmurs spread across our group. Again silence was stressed as crucial to the activity. "Cross the line, if you are a girl." "Cross the line, if you are a boy." The easy questions did not last long and the personal ones began to appear. "Cross the line, if you have ever been bullied." One-fourth crossed. "Cross the line, if you have lost a grandparent." One-fourth again. "Cross the line, if you know someone that committed suicide." One-fifth took a step. "Cross the line if you have struggled or struggle with suicidality." You could hear the shuffling from the feet of the twenty people out of three-hundred who crossed stepped over the tape. Every time you crossed you would look around expecting judgement, but everyone remained looking forward understanding that this was serious and difficult. "Cross the line if you have lost a parent." Five people cross. I still remember breaking my forward stare to glance at the girl seven people down from me. She had lost a parent. I could never even imagine the pain that must be. Her long black hair, her fabulous outfit, her warm, friendly smile somehow this young woman had lost a parent and remained unscathed to the public eye. I crossed the line when asked about struggling with suicidality. I remember feeling alone in a crowd of three-hundred despite the other nineteen that crossed with me. How alone must she feel? The questions continued. People had committed self-harm, feared for their life, lost siblings, and felt depression. Each time I stepped over that line I felt that I was alone in that crowd of three-hundred, but when we finished I felt relieved and comforted. I came away with two things from that experience. First, I realized that my words and actions must be closely watched because I do not know the struggles of those around me. I would not want to make anyone feel small intentionally, or unintentionally. The second thing I gathered is that I have people around me dealt the same hand as I. If I were to talk and share with them we both might know how to better handle our situation. I want to remind every single one of you that feeling alone in a crowd is not uncommon, but look around and you will see pain and overcoming all around you. Be the friend to the alone and hurting and allow your neighbors to be your friend. Just a thought.